A funny thing. I witnessed in slow motion a devastaing loss coming my way for the past few months. I felt it, thought it, and prayed earnestly for divine intervention. Prayed earnestly. My husband died anyway, just before our 5th anniversary. That was one of the prayers inside this terrible foreboding I lived with for weeks. In my journal I kept writing about the before and after... referring to his retiring shortly after celebrating our upcoming 5 years. 2 weeks to the day he died. That night i knew something was terribly wrong, I waited earnestly for his phone call, or text. I prayed, I wept, I sobbed for help. To no avail. Today? I don't know if I will ever pray with belief and open heart ever again. I no longer see a point.
What I do feel looking back is that I'd been preparing for this event for a time, and maybe that was God's way of answering my prayers, just not the way I wanted them. I'm certain there are prayers answered differently from life and the thereafter. I will never know.
Amen.
Nicely done, Maryan, on a topic that deserves more attention. Glad to hear you and your husband are doing well.
A funny thing. I witnessed in slow motion a devastaing loss coming my way for the past few months. I felt it, thought it, and prayed earnestly for divine intervention. Prayed earnestly. My husband died anyway, just before our 5th anniversary. That was one of the prayers inside this terrible foreboding I lived with for weeks. In my journal I kept writing about the before and after... referring to his retiring shortly after celebrating our upcoming 5 years. 2 weeks to the day he died. That night i knew something was terribly wrong, I waited earnestly for his phone call, or text. I prayed, I wept, I sobbed for help. To no avail. Today? I don't know if I will ever pray with belief and open heart ever again. I no longer see a point.
What I do feel looking back is that I'd been preparing for this event for a time, and maybe that was God's way of answering my prayers, just not the way I wanted them. I'm certain there are prayers answered differently from life and the thereafter. I will never know.
Of all the things in which to believe, miracles seem a benign, possibly wise, choice.