Skeletons in the Closet?

Permission granted to let them out – and dance!

"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."

Haven’t we all got a few skeletons in the closet? Past mistakes, regrets, or moments we’d rather forget? That’s human nature. Studies show that unresolved guilt, regret, or past mistakes can linger in the subconscious, shaping our choices and self-perception.

But here’s a thought - what if, instead of hiding those skeletons, you let them dance?

George Bernard Shaw said it best:
"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."

The meaning behind it suggests that instead of hiding past mistakes or secrets, one should embrace them, even turning them into strengths or lessons.

Sounds nice, right? But let’s be real - this isn’t easy.

It takes courage to admit the things we wish never happened. To own the choices we regret. To look at the parts of ourselves we’d rather ignore. But here’s what I’ve learned: hiding your past keeps you stuck in it. Owning it sets you free.

My Skeleton, Locked Away

Eighteen years ago, I got sober from alcohol. That was the easy part.

The hard part? Facing everything that came before.

See, my addiction wasn’t a secret. Not really. The family were well aware. Friends knew. Employers and colleagues figured it out.

I remember one corporate conference at a tropical resort where days were packed with presentations, nights filled with “party, party, party.” And oh, how I partied.

One night, a colleague - who happened to be a former nurse - pulled me aside. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “Michael, I think you have a drinking problem.”

I could’ve been defensive. But instead, I lifted my drink - said, ‘Yeah, I already know that’ - and took another long gulp.

Because I did know.

That’s how it is for many alcoholics - it’s messy, obvious, and hard to fully hide. Even when we think we’re fooling the world, the truth seeps out in slurred words, missed mornings, and quiet interventions from people who care enough to say something.

And I have so many memories of my past inappropriate behavior.

But when I got sober, I wanted to lock the past away.

• The damage I caused.

• The people I hurt.

• The choices I made when alcohol was in the driver’s seat.

I wanted to pretend that man never existed. That I could just move forward and never look back.

But you can’t outrun your own story. Better to let it dance.

And that closet? It doesn’t just keep secrets in - it keeps you out. Out of healing. Out of self-forgiveness. Out of the freedom that comes when you finally accept every version of yourself - the broken one, the reckless one, the one who didn’t know better.

For years, I carried quiet shame. Not about my sobriety - I was proud of that. But about the man I used to be. About the things I couldn’t change.

And as long as I kept those skeletons locked away, they still had power over me.

Your Skeleton Might Look Different - But It’s Just as Real

Not everyone has a past tied to addiction. But everyone has a skeleton in the closet - something they’d rather keep buried.

Maybe for you, it’s:

• A failed marriage you never talk about.

• A financial disaster that still makes you cringe.

• A mistake that cost you a friendship, a job, or your reputation.

• A period of deep depression or self-destruction that you don’t want to admit happened.

• A secret regret that gnaws at you, even years later.

It doesn’t matter what it is. What matters is how much power it still holds over you.

If thinking about it still makes your stomach drop… if you’re afraid someone will “find out” who you used to be… if the weight of it still shapes your choices, your confidence, or your self-worth…

That’s your skeleton.

And as long as you keep it locked away, it controls you.

But when you let it dance - when you face it, own it, and stop running - you take back the power.

Letting the Skeleton Dance

Everything shifted when I stopped hiding my past and started using it.

Instead of trying to erase who I was, I learned to own it.

Instead of burying the lessons, I found ways to share them.

Instead of running from the wreckage, I repurposed it into something useful.

That’s when I truly got free.

And you can do the same.

How to Let Your Skeletons Dance

Whatever’s in your past - mistakes, regrets, painful experiences - you don’t have to keep it hidden. You can own it, repurpose it, and let it serve you.

Here’s how:

1. Acknowledge It (Stop Running)

Denial keeps you trapped. The first step is naming your skeleton - out loud, in writing, or even just admitting it to yourself.

2. Reframe It (Your Past Is Not a Life Sentence)

Your past doesn’t define you, but it can inform your future.

3. Speak It, Share It (Truth Sets You Free)

Hiding keeps you stuck. Find a way to bring your story into the light.

4. Use It to Help Others (Make It Matter)

Someone else is still struggling with what you’ve been through. Your story might be the thing that helps them through.

5. Embrace the Freedom (Own Your Story, Own Your Life)

There’s nothing more powerful than owning your truth without apology.

How I Let My Skeleton Dance as a Writer

When I first started writing advertising copy for a solid income back in 2013, I had the hardest time calling myself a “copywriter.”

Not because I didn’t have the skills. Not because I wasn’t getting paid. But because my skeleton was still locked away, whispering that I didn’t deserve the title.

My self-esteem was too bruised by years of bad decisions, lost time, and a past I wasn’t fully at peace with. The wreckage of my addiction - though behind me - still had its grip on how I saw myself.

So even as I sat at my desk, writing persuasive words that helped businesses make money… I still felt like a fraud.

That’s when I knew I had to do something beyond just thinking about moving past my past.

I stood in front of the mirror and said - affirmation style, in the first, second, and third person:

• “I am Mike Searles, and I am a copywriter.”

• “You are Mike Searles, and you are a copywriter.”

• “He is Mike Searles, and he is a copywriter.”

Sounds simple, right? But it wasn’t.

At first, the words felt hollow. Forced. Like I was playing a role I hadn’t earned.

But I kept repeating it. Again. And again. And again.

Because rewiring your identity takes action, not just thoughts.

Neville Goddard said, “Feeling is the secret.”

Neville was right.

It wasn’t just the words that mattered - it was the emotion behind them. The words alone weren’t enough. I had to feel them as truth. To let the emotion of already being a copywriter sink into my bones until it felt real.

At first, I was just going through the motions. But over time, I stopped just saying the words and started believing them. The more I spoke them with conviction, the more my subconscious accepted them. The more I felt like a copywriter, the more my actions aligned.

And that’s when everything changed.

I wasn’t trying to become a copywriter anymore.

I was one.

That was the moment my skeleton - the one telling me I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t deserve success, that my past disqualified me - finally let go.

Because I had let it out of the closet.

And I let it dance.

The Writer in You: Releasing the Skeleton to Dance

As a writer, you have a built-in outlet for your skeletons.

You can let them dance through your words, your stories, and your honesty.

Writing about your past - whether as fiction, memoir, poetry, or even just personal reflection - can be one of the most powerful ways to set yourself free.

It’s not just about self-expression. It’s about turning pain into art, regret into wisdom, and shame into a bridge for someone else to walk across.

Ways to Let Your Skeleton Dance Through Your Writing:

• Write your story as a personal essay – Share what you’ve been through in a way that helps others see they’re not alone.

• Create a fictional version of your journey – If direct storytelling feels too raw, turn your experience into a character’s journey.

• Use poetry to explore your emotions – Poetry lets you say things in ways that don’t need to be literal but still cut deep.

• Journal about your past, even if no one sees it – Writing just for yourself can be a step toward releasing what you’ve buried.

• Weave your truth into the stories you tell – Your life experience is a goldmine. Use it.

You don’t have to share everything. You don’t have to tell it all at once.

But letting your skeleton dance - even in small ways, even in whispers on the page - can free you.

And the best part?

You may never know who you help.

Your words might reach someone in their darkest moment. They might unlock something in a reader who feels stuck.

Your willingness to put your skeleton into the world - even in the quietest way - could be the permission someone else needs to do the same.

So write. Share. Create.

And let that skeleton dance.

Final Thought

Your skeletons of the past don’t have to haunt you.

They don’t have to keep you stuck in shame or regret.

They don’t have to be buried so deep that you spend your life exhausted from holding the door shut.

Let them out. Let them dance!

Because when you do, you stop being a prisoner of your past - and start using it to build a future worth celebrating.

Until next time,
Mike Searles
MENTOR MIKE

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About our author: Mike Searles (Mentor Mike) is a member of the Inkspired Community. He helps writers, professionals, and retirees turn life experience and hard-won wisdom into extra income by transforming knowledge into high-value products and services that educate, inspire, and create real impact.

It’s such a treat to get unique points-of-view from our guest writers. If you have a story idea for the Inkspired Community newsletter, direct message Maryan Pelland