Understanding the Feminine Mystique — How to Know What We Women Are Thinking

Women and men are both from Earth, and it’s not that tricky to decode what our reactions mean

Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay

A joke being handed around social media sites goes like this: How to read women — If she has her hands around your throat and is applying strong pressure, she’s probably ticked off. Well, we’re not that aggressive in our reactions, most of us, and some theories say women are easier to read than men. How ‘bout it? Can you decode a woman’s emotions?

The empathizing-systemizing school of thought tells us women’s brains are hard-wired for empathy and men are stoic. But should we believe men and women are built to feel or express emotions differently? I doubt it — if you can read a woman’s emotions, you can read all human emotions.

My husband and I found that when we learned to pay attention to body language and facial expressions, life was quieter. And know that some men are stoic and some women are empaths, but it can certainly go the other way.

Whether it’s your wife, girlfriend, partner, mother, BFF, or sister, you can provide comfort, support, and understanding while allowing her to be herself. All I really need from Dan when my mood is unpositive or someone has dissed me is a simple, “Well, that really sucks — want me to beat them up for you?”

Maybe women express and read emotions more keenly. We girls are taught early that it’s ok to show feelings, to cry, to pout, to giggle. We learn physical expressiveness, while boys are expected to reign it in. So, when little girls become women and are less likely to let it all hang out, how do you read our emotions behind subtle actions? Watch and learn.

1. If she leans back, even a little, when you offer physical touch — a hug, a shoulder pat, it’s likely she’s not receptive. Is she miffed? Maybe, and she may be too polite to say so, but surely the time isn’t right for friendly touching. She might just need some personal space. She may be tired. All you can really know is to respect her needs in the moment.

2. If she replies to questions or conversations with short, discussion-ending statements, one of two things is happening. She could be annoyed, but she may just be up to her hoo-hoo in alligators and so busy clearing the swamp that she doesn’t have time for you. Is it possible you’re too needy right now?

3. Invite a woman out three or four times and get an off-putting response — you can bet your Jockeys she isn’t that into you. Get a hobby. Move on.

4. If she holds her arms close to her body in a hug-like gesture and she isn’t smiling, she needs comfort or human warmth. Approach gently and ask how you can help or hand her a pretty flower.

5. When you know something serious is challenging her, but she keeps saying, “No, I’m fine. No, it’s ok.” You can be sure she’s not and it isn’t. Find a subtle, unobtrusive way to lend a hand or provide support without turning the spotlight on yourself. Be ready to listen — she’s not looking for you to solve her problem; just support her feelings.

6. She’s pouting — unusual for her. Subtle? You might not think so, but truth is the pout probably doesn’t mean anger. Something has truly disappointed her, and she may wish someone would treat her like a little girl for one minute and grant her wish, whatever it is. If she pouts constantly, she needs to mature, and you might need to cool the relationship for a bit.

7. Tears are streaming down her face, or she’s sobbing into her martini — do not tell her, “Don’t cry.” Crying is healthy and restorative. Give quiet affection. Hold her and be quiet. Ask this: “What do you need right now?”

8. Silly, playful, slightly raucous giggling? Hey, Babe, that means she is delighted with the world, with you, and with herself. Go with it. Right now, you can probably talk her into agreeing to you buying that new laptop the budget can’t really handle. Refer back to #1 and #2 — if she’s doing those, put the laptop buy on hold.

9. You’re out playing or shopping or whatever, and she gets testy, snappish, and irritable. She’s hungry, Dude. Feed the woman.

See? You don’t need psychic intuition to puzzle through a woman’s emotions and responses; just watch the signs. Look at her, listen to her, and allow her to call her own shots. As long as she isn’t reaching for your throat and growling, you can probably work through most of her cues and turn yourself into a remarkable partner.

If anyone has inside tips about how to navigate a man’s cues and body language, do leave a comment!